I don't know what to say, right now.....every time this comes to my mind, it brings tears to my eyes, but first..I gotta introduce myself.....My name is Adewale, and thats all you need to know.
I lost a friend some days back...we hadn't spoken in years, but I still thought of him as one.
Tomi my friend committed suicide, blew his brains out........his reason, we don't know, as such, but it was apparently linked to his frustration by a man, called adewumi, a lecturer in the dept of comp sciences UNILAG, where I finished from. And also his failure to graduate.
My friend did something crazy. He could have hung on, he had a lot of other options, but he chose this way, and Im wondering why........why he cudn't just reach out , talk to someone.
He's dead now, but we his friends, have a duty right now, not to let tomi sonaikes death be in vain, and we have chosen this medium to talk about the frustrations of those devils called lecturers, and how they mess up peoples lives. I have decided to talk about one of my own experiences, to show the whole world that the Nigerian educational system needs to be sanitized from rats like these, who were frustrated, and are taking it out on others.
I was entering final year, and I had a good average, never failed a course, and so had my best buddy afam. We went to the notice board to check our names, and we were told that we werent eligible to be in final year......our names werent on the list.
We were in shock, we had to start writing letters up and down, and waiting for the department people to answer us. We were bounced from pillar to post. We remember chasing the exam officer up and down, and he not giving us any attention. Sometimes he would tell us that he was busy and didnt have time, and our futures were hanging on the line. We were told that we didnt register, or some crap like that. Thinking back I am sure they misplaced our course forms, or something, and didn't care. It got so bad we had to bring our parents. I remember asking myself what kind of system this was. I remember feeling bad, and worn out. The HOD began querying me, asking me if I had registered. I told him I did, and my parents believed me obviously. I remember the HOD telling my dad in a superior tone of voice that I "knew what to do".
My friend had to do the same thing. To cut a long story short, they found our course forms and we were registered as being in final year, after like 3 weeks. My mum later told me she felt I used to exaggerate about what they put us through in the department, but now she believed me. So this is just another example of how the system can mess you up, and frustrate young students. And how you react to the frustration is in your hands, and its a pity my friend made the wrong choice....
Well, we will fight on. RIP tomi, you live on in our hearts, but you didn't have to do this, there was a way out, if you had chosen to find it.
22 comments:
To pass through that department and not go through one scrape or the other is a miracle. In my own set, you cn imagine the whole class praying for one of our mates to make first class at all costs.Those sadistic bastards (forgive my french here) tried but their efforts were futile against 200 praying Christians and muslims! Even those that had extras were so happy when he made it. That deprtment should be cleansed of those blood - thirsty sadistic lecturers.
Let not another soul go to Hell because of them.
when was the last time u talked to ur friend that shot himself?... .... did u call him often?...
did u guys reach out to him before this?
We tried reaching out, but he would simply wave it off and change the subject. We all talked to him, and tried to get him to take his acads seriously. He never for once gave us any impression that he had issues.
so many questions, so few answers...it's a WICKED world
my condolence to you and his other friends and family too. This is just so sad and the most painful part of it is that his death could have been avoided. If only the lecturer hadn't put him through som much, If only he had reached out to someone and shared his problem, if only....
Hi wavemasta:
Sorry about your friend.Please can I have your email address, bcos I need to discuss some issues with you.
Thanks
@ Mr Okediran........why dont you drop your email address and I will get back to you?
@Others, thanks for your support....I guess the lesson is that we should try harder with our friends, and appreciate all the times we have with them
My email add is mutiuokediran@gmail.com
This is a first step, but I think you can do more. First of all, I suggest you write letters to all the major newspapers and expose the names of all the lecturers that were involved in your friend's case. Secondly, open another blog that should only be for exposing lecturers, let people that have been subjected to their nonsense put up their stories and give the full names, departments, if possible, pictures of the useless lecturers. Finally, make flyers with the address of the blog and make sure the department heads get them. This is internet. Expose their corrupt asses!
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend.
so so sad!!!
Tomi was my friend too. Heard about this tragic news as soon as it happened...and yes the shock! He was such a gentle guy. We were in the same class all through kindergarteen - pry 6. Plus we went to the same church so we always stayed in touch. Last time I saw him was at my wedding in Dec...but I had spoken to him a couple of times after that...never knew he had any issues like this. So sad. Yes I wish he had chosen a different route. But all I can say now is Rest in Peace. Will continue to pray for his family and friends.
really sorry to hear about this because i too when thru lag(law, and saw shege b4 i left...had no inkling, they just slammed with a you are not going to law skl cos u failed a course in yr 1- how wldnt i know if i failed a course and then i wouldnt do it till i finished yr5?
story is too long to go into, but yup friends fell by the way side, my parents stood by me, i wrote enough petitions and was going to sue the university b4 the faculty finally relented and apologised for messing up my grades, of course i had missed lawskl by then and took the next year off to chill in America, came back and it was time for lawskl, some of the lecturers saw me and started screaming embarrasing the facultythem, of course i called my parents on their ass-my story is too long to go into like i said -
but bottom line is i finished with my 2'1 from lag and finished with one from law school too- the best revenge is success so my advice to all the young cats still in lag or elsewhere is,
(1)party hard but dnt EVER play with ur exams-they'll speak for you when u are not there like a last testament from the grave,
(2) if you can avoid catching the lecturer's attention excpt for ur brilliance, avoid them
(3) always insist and stand for ur rights, the road is long but if u know u r in the right , give them hellback thru all legal means and dont fall for their intimidation, drag it with them, ur mates may seem like they are moving on but u'll catch up and its only for a while-pls keep us posted on any plans like waffarian said, i know its years behind me but others may still be in that position
Bisi thanks for the link
so so sad... so sad...Waffy has a point. I think they should be exposed- those lecturers... why?
I wish your friend had chosen another way out. there were loads of options..
This is really sad. Thi story should be publicised. Maybe a change can begin.
Very Sad.
May his soul rest in peace.
It wasnt what his life though...whatever it was.
Am with waffarian, they must be exposed!
I meant "It wasnt worth his life"
Sorry for your loss. I went thru that unilag hell and know how it can be. Surprising enough some people go through unscathed. It aint fair but what in this life is? Just hang onto God and take your comfort in him. Stay strong.
its terible that ur friend killed himself. getting an admission to a nigerian univerity can be like the camel and the needle story but graduating without serious issues is even more...
my sister is in uniben and has been complaining about a lecturer who has refused to allow the final year students write his paper. we wonder why a lecturer has such poweres but thats the way it is now. we have to find ways to change things.
UNILAG...i had a similar experience...finished final year exams, no carry over, no missing results and it came to graduation some 6 - 9 months later, my name wasnt on the graduating list...i thought it was a joke and it was just an error...to my dismay i was told i wasnt graduating cos they didnt have almost all my year results...something that was never missing when i went through four years....imagine the embarrassment of having graduation a few days away and here my future was hanging on a thread...also had to bring my mum when i was labelled all manner of things for something that wasnt my fault in any way...eventually we found the results sitting in my year one course adviser's office...he couldnt be bothered to look for it...i got cleared months after and missed NYSC when my set was going...i finished 2002 didnt go to serve until 2006 and that was when i discovered why they hadnt sent me earlier...they had 2 results for me in senate, one saying i had graduated and one saying i hadnt so they werent sure...it is so terrible. my life has been 'literally' on hold because of one person's mistake....it is so sad!!!
i posted this in ex's comments, thot i'd just copy u.
laide, i really feel u on that writing exams in the arts theatre in the dark thing. i'm telling u we had to rewrite two papers after they got cancelled cos the lights went off in the middle of the exams. i mean, is it not frustrating enough to write one exam, but to have to study for another set of questions for the same course is hell. and it happened over and over again when i was in unilag. at least, it was bad for people that were stuck in the theatre, but imagine how it felt for those that were in the classrooms whom the lights did not affect, but still had to rewrite them along with the rest of us. we then refused to take any exmas there in yr 4 and started using the main auditorium. life in unilag is frustrating, but i realised that if i could pass thru yr 3 in that school, then i could do anything in the world.
my heart goes out to your friend's family, especially as i believe there is no hope for ressurrection of those who take their own life. believe me, i know people who went through worse things in that school and didnt resort to suicide. a friend of mine had to withdraw voluntarily after he caught our exams office nacking one girl in his office n the guy refused to collect his course forms in yr 1. by year three, he still wasnt registered as a student. imagine 3 wasted years of his life. he eventually gave up trying to beg the guy and left. my cousin graduated, did her NYSC, and has now been told that she did not have enough units to have graduated, that she has to come back and take some courses. how much worse can her life get? this is someone who was already registering abroad for her masters, and now is told she doesnt even have a first degree
as students y do we condone these things? y dont we report evil lecturers? what happened to the days cultists used to brush them and leave them near death whenever they harrassed students? ok, that is not right either but doing something is better than nothing. the student union has been filled with voiceless puppets. it is time for the students to rise and start a struggle. let Tomi's death not be in vain.
@everyone: My heart warms up that nigerians all over (especially the bloggers out there) are visiting and commenting. Some of us still havent gone back to normal because of this. Tis so so sad. Thanks we appreciate your words and time.
@wafarian: THIS is what you are describing. We intended that this blog help us to expose the blood-thirsty UNILAG lecturers for all they are.
@ olutope: at least you had the grace of knowing before hand that your name was not on the list. As for me, my Mother went all out and invited family, friends and foes for her firstborn daughter's graduation. She killed goat, bought eja odo, cartons of frozen chicken, panla, you name it. She hired two caterers and had fried rice, jollof rice, pounded yam and eguis (or efo riro - however you want it), hot amala, peppersoup (goat meat or fish). She went all out. Then as the brochure was shared out to all of us graduating students, everyone in my class seemed to be calling me to tell me that my name was not on the list.
Imagine the shock I went through. All because some lecturer assumed that I had faked my yr two PHS263 result. Nevermind that the same lecturer was so close to my family, I spent most of the week babysitting for him. Nevermind that he was my project supervisor and saw me practically everyday concerning it. Never mind that everyone called me his daughter all through Yr 4.
I HATE THAT DEPARTMENT.
I missed NYSC with my mates of course. But I didn't keep quiet. My outraged mother did not keep quiet. She took the matter to the Dean of Student Affairs, and as a Senior Lecturer, started pulling strings (something she always said she could never do as her kids were brilliant enough to pass their exams all the time). Eventually the Assistant Registrar entered the picture, and the lecturer had to act up, quickly.
Sorry to say that he did that to about twelve of us, and only two of us didn't hae to register 12 units the following school year. Thank God! Because only the two of us are going to serve this October - the others got stuck so its next year for them.
@mystoriesmytestimonies: Tomi was a reserved likeable guy. He was so nice, always was the gentleman, in an environment where everyone wanted to be tough. He always tucked in his shirt, even in jeans. He had this deep baritone voice and wore spectacles (notice, not glasses). He was adorable. He never looked troubled. I still saw him in April and he was his charming self.
Too painful.
@wavemasta: Pls continue reaching out to others out there. Try to raise topics that would prompt a response like this. For example, the title of a post might be Computer Science department, Unilag, and when people comment, they recount their own experiences, stating lecturers names and the years the incidences took place.
@teediva: There is no student union again in unilag. IT just does not exist.And with unilag student union gone, who bon anyone to talk in the other schools?
Post a Comment